I've been saying for years that our equipment is obsolete.
Now, computer analysis reveals an entirely new approach: miniaturization.
For instance, radioactive lint.
When placed in an opponent's pockets,
the antipersonnel and location fix seems obvious.
What we want is a location fix on 007.
Number Ten's making ugly noises about Operation Bedlam.
Have you checked with Communications?
Replies to our Cairo, Amsterdam and Madrid enquiries, all negative.
The PM wants to be informed personally when we find 007.
No.
Good morning. My name's Bond. James Bond.
Miss...?
Don't move, Mr. Bond.
Now get up.
Put you hands behind your head. Move.
Get in.
Lie down.
This never happened to the other fellow.
- Your bagages, sir? - In the boot. Take care of those clubs.
- Commander Bond, how are you, sir? - Fine. Good to see you, Manuel.
Everything seems up to your usual high standards.
Yes, it's a good season.
Does that red Cougar outside belong to a lady?
Yes, sir. Contessa Teresa di Vicenzo.
Our best. Fortunately, we have had a cancellation.
Allow me.
This'll do. This'll do me nicely.
I'm sure we can look after your special needs.
I'm sure you can. Thank you.
Give the bank.
Thank you.
Give the bank.
20,000 francs.
Too rich for my blood.
I don't have the money.
I regret too, but I don't have any money.
Dame can't pay up.
Forgive me. My mind was elsewhere.
Madame has forgotten we agreed to be partners this evening.
Please continue.
Well, that's a bit of luck, being bailed out like that at the last minute.
Waiter.
- Dom Pérignon '57. - Sir.
Why do you persist in rescuing me, Mr. Bond?
It's becoming a habit, isn't it, Contessa Teresa?
Teresa was a saint. I'm known as Tracy.
Well, Tracy, next time play it safe and stand on five.
People who want to stay alive play it safe.
Please stay alive. At least for tonight.
Come later.
I hope it'll be worth it,
partner.
Send it to suite 423 with caviar for two.
Tracy.
Gate-crasher.
I'll leave you to tidy up.
Royal beluga. North of the Caspian.
- You're full of surprises, Contessa. - So are you, Mr. Bond.
Do you always arm yourself for a rendezvous?
Occasionally. I seem to be accident-prone.
I'll take that, if you don't mind.
You're very sure of yourself, aren't you? Suppose I were to kill you for a thrill.
I can think of something more sociable to do.
Will you stop playing games? Who was that man in your room?
- You're hurting me. - I thought that was the idea.
- Now, who was he? - I don't know what you're talking about.
- I can be a lot more persuasive, Contessa. - I'm sure you can.
Whatever else I may be, I'm not a liar.
Get dressed.
You're the most extraordinary girl.
I'm not interested in your opinion of me, Mr. Bond.
- I'm here for a business transaction. - Really?
Isn't Le Bleu a bit heady for that?
So, you know your perfumes. What else do you know?
A little about women.
Think about me as a woman you've just bought.
Who needs to buy?
Look, you don't owe me a thing.
I think you're in some sort of trouble. Would you like to talk about it?
No, Mr. Bond.
The only thing you need know about me is that I pay my debts.
20,000 francs is a lot of money.
- Good morning. - Café for two with fresh orange juice.
- Connect me with suite 423, please. - The countess has left the hotel, sir.
- Checked out? - A few minutes ago.
Thank you.
Paid in full as well.
- Mr. Bond? - Yes.
- You've lost something. - Really?
We'll give it to you outside.
Why not? Perhaps we can make up a foursome.
You've thought of everything.
What a lovely surprise, meeting again.
- And where's the party this time? - You have an appointment.
Business or pleasure?
Mystery tour, eh?
We'd all enjoy it more without that.
Do not kill me, Mr. Bond. At least not until we've had a drink.
Then if you wish, I'll give you another chance.
I'm Draco, of Draco Construction.
- But today is the 13th, Commander. - I'm superstitious.
A martini for our guest, Olympe.
- Shaken, not stirred. - Of course.
Campari for me.
My apologies for the way you were brought here today. Please sit down.
I was not sure you would accept a formal invitation.
There's always something formal about the point of a pistol.
Thank you, chérie.
- Olympe, we will finish our struggle later. - As you wish.
She also plays a very good game of chess.
Cheers.
- You usually drink Corsican brandy. - What else do you know about me?
Marc Ange Draco. Head of Union Corse, one of Europe's biggest crime syndicates.
- The biggest. - Not quite. SPECTER operates worldwide.
However, your legitimate business fronts are somewhat more extensive.
Construction, electrical supplies, agricultural holdings.
Your dossier on me is not entirely complete.
I am also Teresa's father.
- Tracy? - Yes, Tracy.
Tracy.
My only child.
Her mother was an English girl - romantic -
who had come to Corsica to look for bandits.
Rather like those women who ventured into the desert looking for sheikhs.
She found me in the mountains. Hiding from the police at the time.
I came to love this girl. We married. The result: Teresa.
Twelve years later my wife died. I sent Teresa to Switzerland...
- No, thanks. I prefer my own. - ...to finish her education.
Unfortunately, I didn't give her a proper home. She was without supervision.
So she joined the fast international set. One scandal after another.
When I disapproved, cut off her allowance,
she committed some greater folly.
To spite me.
Yet, behind her bravado, something was eating away at her soul.
This can happen to men and women.
They burn the heart out of themselves by living too greedily.
And suddenly,
- all is finished. - Why are you telling me this?
Without telling me, she married. A count who killed himself in a Maserati
with one of his mistresses.
I gave her too much, and it brought her nothing.
Now, why did I tell you all this?
I have been informed of everything you have done for my daughter.
- Everything? - Don't worry. Don't worry about that.
What you did, the way you behaved, might be the beginning of some kind of therapy.
She needs help.
Your help.
I find her fascinating, but she needs a psychiatrist, not me.
What she needs is a man to dominate her.
To make love to her enough to make her love him.
A man like you.
You overestimate me, Draco.
She's very attractive, but what you ask is not for me.
Listen to me. On the day you marry her,
I'll give you a personal dowry of one million pounds in gold.
That's quite an inducement.
But I don't need a million pounds.
- And I've a bachelor's taste for freedom. - Please, just see her some more.
- Who knows what will come of it? - I'm sorry, but in my profession, I can't.
- What? - You have connections not open to me.
Where is Ernst Stavro Blofeld?
Blofeld? Some of my men have recently defected to him.
- I don't know where he is. - Can you find out?
If I could, I wouldn't tell Her Majesty's Secret Service.
But I might tell my future son-in-law.
Go on.
Next week is my birthday.
For that, Teresa always comes back to me.
You understand?
- Let's say I'll sleep on the idea. - You do that.
- James. Where have you been? - Much too far from you, darling.
Same old James.
Only more so.
Heartless brute. Letting me pine away without even a postcard.
Pine no more.
Cocktails at my place, eightish, just the two of us.
I'd adore that.
If only I could trust myself.
Same old Moneypenny. Britain's last line of defense.
You'd better go in. He's running a very tight ship today.
I'm relieving you from Operation Bedlam, 007.
Sir, Blofeld's something of a must with me.
You've had two years to run him down.
- Have you lost confidence in me? - I'm well aware of your talents.
But a license to kill is useless, unless one can set up the target.
- I'll find a more suitable assignment. - Sir...
That's all.
That was a quick conference. How do you expect a girl to keep herself alluring?
Take a memo, please, Moneypenny.
Ready, James.
Sir, I have the honor to request if you'll accept my resignation, effective forthwith.
- Resignation from what? - Her Majesty's Secret Service.
And kindly present it to that monument in there.
Sorry, ma'am.
- 007... James Bond here. - He wants you, James.
Request granted.
Request granted. Not even with regret.
What did you expect? A knighthood?
Why don't you read it?
Two weeks' leave.
Well, you didn't really want to resign, did you?
Moneypenny, what would I do without you?
My problem is that you never do anything with me.
It's a date. The moment I get back.
- Where are you off to? - Just some place to laze about.
Beachcombing.
What would I do without you, Miss Moneypenny? Thank you.
- Very well. - There's Tracy.
Where is she? There she is.
- Teresa. - Happy birthday, Papa.
You make it so by being here. You look marvelous.
There's someone I want you to meet.
- How are you? - It's good to have you back.
- You look wonderful. - Thanks.
Mr. Bond.
- May I introduce my daughter, Teresa? - Contessa.
- Mr. Bond and I have already met. - But each time is a renewed pleasure.
Madame always makes one feel so welcome.
She likes you, I can see it.
You must give me the name of your oculist.
Olympe, I didn't know Mr. Bond knew Papa.
There are many things about Mr. Bond one does not know.
It would be interesting to attend night school perhaps.
Papa is up to something, I'm sure of it.
Your father loves you very much, Tracy.
Whatever he may arrange, I know it's for your happiness.
What has Papa arranged?
Mr. Bond.
Thank you.
- Thank you. - Many happy returns.
The best years are still to come, let's hope.
Allow me.
- What are you doing here? - Wasn't it kind of your father to invite me?
- Mr. Bond and I are discussing business. - Really?
No woman would waste excellent champagne discussing business.
Unless, of course, she happened to be part of the arrangement.
- What have you said? - Don't blame Olympe.
- I'm not your daughter for nothing. - I detect a family resemblance.
I suggest you revise the terms of your contract, Mr. Bond.
- You'll find your liability too expensive. - You're mistaken.
- Papa. - Yes?
- Mr. Bond wants information. - What are you talking about?
You taught me that a good host supplies his guest's needs.
And without obligation.
- And then? - I'm not sure obligation is the right word.
Tell him, Papa. Tell him what he wants to know.
- Now. - Please, please, Teresa.
It's only a possibility, nothing definite.
Tell him, Papa, or you'll never see me again.
All right.
There may be a connection between that man Blofeld
and a lawyer with offices in Bern, Switzerland.
- Named Gumbold. - Gumbold?
- Bern, Switzerland? - Yes, Gumbold.
So, now Mr. Bond need have no further interest in me.
Another mistake.
She always was a headstrong child. I'm sorry...
Where has he gone?
Tracy?
Tracy.
I was always taught that mistakes should be remedied.
Especially between friends.
Or lovers.
I'll catch up with you.
- The story of our life, James? - Just keep my martini cool.
I will be back in an hour.
Such things should be left to a girl's father, who knows what is best for her.
But what can be better than being in love?
Mr. Bond, he's in love with you?
That may come too, some day.
Life's too short for "some day", Teresa.
- Tomorrow I will speak to him alone. - No, Papa.
- Why not? - No talk.
Whatever happens, there'll be no regrets.
Please.
- Good afternoon, James. - Good afternoon. Is the Admiral in?
Excuse me, sir. Commander Bond to see you.
- Right, show him in. - Aye aye, sir.
- If you please, sir. - Thank you.
Unusually small for a Nymphalis polychloris.
I wasn't aware that your expertise included lepidoptery.
- Anyway, what are you doing here? - Genealogy, sir. Fascinating subject.
Came across a letter from Gebrüder Gumbold, solicitors in Switzerland,
to a certain Count Balthazar de Bleuchamp.
- De Bleuchamp? - French form of "Blofeld".
You've been relieved from Operation Bedlam, 007. Remember?
I assumed you'd reassign me, sir.
This is a Photostat copy of a letter to our College of Arms in the City of London,
with the request that they try to establish de Bleuchamp's claim to the title.
And Sir Hilary Bray, he's the sable basilisk, has replied to Gumbold
suggesting that he should meet de Bleuchamp in person.
I've taken the liberty of working with the college on this,
using an examination of my own family tree as cover.
I've also been reading up on heraldry...
- Sir Hilary Bray. Commander Bond. - Yes, sir.
...so that, should he consent to a meeting, I could represent the college.
Come.
Good afternoon. Have a look at this. Let me take your coat.
Arms of Sir Thomas Bond. Baronet of Peckham. Died 1734.
Argent on a chevron sable. Three bezants.
Good motto, eh? "The world is not enough."
- You're doing a splendid job. - Thank you, Mr. Sable Basilisk.
We've traced your line back to Sir Otho le Bon.
Held the manor of Wickhambreux by a knight's fee from the Earl of Thanet, 1387.
We're in luck.
Gumbold's telephoned from Berne to say his client has consented to see me.
- You mean me? - Yes, you.
But, Commander Bond, I am only able to countenance this deception
if the matter is of national importance.
I haven't exaggerated. We appreciate your help.
During the deception period, I shall be amongst the churches of Brittany.
I want to do brass rubbings there anyway.
- Where do I go for this meeting? - They want a description of myself.
- Tactfully adjusted to favor me. - Yes.
They will send the time and place from where I am to be "collected".
It's not our sort of thing, but under the circumstances...
- Sounds as if they're suspicious. - No, no, no, not suspicious. Just discreet.
There was no objection to my fee of a thousand guineas.
- Could their claim be genuine? - Hard to say. Our methods are exacting.
We never speak until we're absolutely certain there's no error on our side,
- or forgery on anybody else's. - I hope I live up to your high standards.
One helpful physical point may be that the real de Bleuchamps are without ear lobes.
It's not the sort of thing we rely on, but it could help.
- No ear lobes. - You might try inviting him to Augsburg.
The de Bleuchamps have come from there for years.
Yes, I'd like to get him away from Switzerland.
- Sir Hilary Bray, Baronet? - The same.
I'm Fräulein Irma Bunt, personal secretary to the count.
- Have you had a good journey? - No, intolerable. I'm not a good traveler.
I'm sorry. Grunther will take your luggage.
- I can manage. - I take it.
Very well.
- You know Switzerland? - I'm afraid not, Fräulein...
Bunt.
Interesting name. Are you from a naval family?
Naval?
It's a nautical term, you see, meaning the baggy or swollen parts of a sail.
- Nothing personal, of course. - Interesting. You speak German?
- I'm afraid not. - French?
- A little. Where are we off to? - You will not be disappointed. Please?
Like the bugs in the rug, yes?
- You are comfortable? - Yes, indeed, Fräulein.
- Your kindness is quite overwhelming. - Good.
So, we are halfway. Now we will have a little flight.
- I've never been in one of these. - You must your pipe knock off.
Knock out, you mean?
I hope.
- Mind your head, Sir Hilary. - Please fasten your safety belt.
Now up into the Alps.
That is avalanche damage.
You enjoy the skiing, or the bobsleigh perhaps?
I'm not a sporting man, Fräulein. Even when I'm at my best.
Do you feel the airsickness?
Up to there is for the public, and from here upwards it is strictly private.
No one, no one at all, may come through without permission from the count.
There is the Bleuchamp Institute for allergy research.
- What kind of allergies? - All of them.
Like the hay fever, or the sickness caused by the oysters, or inability to eat meat.
The count is a great specialist in this field.
- I'll be glad to get my feet on the ground. - Not ground. Ice.
Fräulein, I should warn you, guns make me very nervous.
They're to keep away spies from chemical companies.
Many times already they have tried to steal our discoveries.
Yes, we live in a world of avarice and deceit.
- Here, at least, there's no avarice. - Really?
The Bleuchamp Institute is not for profit, Sir Hilary.
The count does his work for the sake of mankind.
I'm very happy to hear it.
He wants to leave his mark on the entire world.
- Characteristic ambition. - Characteristic?
Of a true humanitarian.
Formerly it was a sports club, open to the public.
Now it belongs to the count, who has given it to scientific research.
Josef, Sir Hilary Bray will take number four.
I will show you there after Grunther has taken you for a medical examination.
- I'm quite all right now. - You are our honored guest, Sir Hilary.
After your experience in the helicopter, we must make sure that you are well again.
Grunther, take Sir Hilary to Dr. von Sant.
Yes?
Provide him with the usual comforts.
You have ten minutes.
And then take them to number four.
If you wish anything for your comfort, you must ring this.
- The attendant will come. - Very considerate. Thank you.
You must also ring for him to open the door when you wish to leave.
- A complicated arrangement. - To stop patients leaving their rooms
and disturbing each other when they should rest.
The count believes very strongly in undisturbed rest.
Prudent fellow. When can I see him? We have a lot to discuss.
He will send for you when he's ready.
Meanwhile, I should like for you to join me in the Alpine Room before dinner.
- Alpine Room? - Yes.
Grunther will come for you. Shall we say seven o'clock?
Thank you.
Fräulein Bunt will receive you.
Tomato juice with lots of lemon.
Sir Hilary. Please, come to meet our patients.
- Ladies, this is Sir Hilary Bray, Baronet. - How do you do?
He's a famous genealogist. You will have a drink, yes?
- Come and sit down. - How do you do?
- Hello. - Thank you.
- What is a baronet? - It's a kind of inferior baron.
- How disappointing. - Well...
I don't mean you're inferior, I mean the title is.
But what's a gynae... genealogist?
- Pommy word for an old people's doctor. - So he's here to cure Fräulein Bunt.
Watch yourself. She has ears like an elephant.
- What will you drink, sir? - Malt whisky and branch water, please.
I'm sorry I was so rude about what a baronet is.
You gave a very accurate description.
- Sir. - Thank you.
It's a treat having a man here for once.
- You mean there aren't any others? - Only the staff, and you can't count them.
We will not discuss affairs of the clinic.
But what is a genealogist? Will nobody tell me?
- It would give me pleasure. - Well?
Genealogy is all about ancestors and families.
It could easily be that any one of you here is related to a royal house.
If only we could go back far enough to find out. If you tell me your names...
We do not use surnames here. It is a rule of the clinic.
I'm so sorry. I didn't know that.
Come, it's time for dinner.
Our schedule is rather strict. So is our diet.
Sir Hilary, if you would sit there, between Helen and Ruby.
I've never had much to do with young ladies.
I have ordered you a steak "Piz Gloria". I hope you enjoy it.
Thank you. I'm sure I will.
- Are you here for Christmas, Sir Hilary? - I might be.
- Good. Then we can have a party. - That sort of thing's not quite in my line.
Delicious. I used to hate chicken. Used to make me break out.
It was all over. You'd be surprised where.
- Potatoes did it to me. Now I adore them. - No medical histories, please.
Girls, I'm sure Sir Hilary would like to tell us about the College of Arms in London.
Go on, Sir Hilary, please tell us.
- If you'd really enjoy that. - Please, yes.
Would you?
- It will be fascinating. - Tell us all about it.
The Herald's College, or College of Arms,
consists of 13 members of the royal household,
appointed by the sovereign to superintend armorial, genealogical,
ceremonial and other matters.
The 13 members are divided into three categories:
kings, heralds and pursuivants.
Their titles and offices are of great antiquity.
...when I tell you that the first Clarenceux, King-of-Arms, was created in 1334
and the first Somerset herald in 1448.
Now, when we authorize a coat of arms, it can include all sorts of funny things.
Crescent moons, portcullises, beasts couchant and rampant, bars, bezants...
Please, what is bezant?
Gold balls.
I've brought a book on the subject. There's a picture of my own coat of arms,
which includes four of them.
If you'd care to see them.
I'd love to. I'm in room...
No. He will give the book to me. I will pass it to everyone in turn.
- It is fairer like that, yes? - Of course. If you think so, Fräulein.
Is anything the matter, Sir Hilary?
Just a slight stiffness coming on. In the shoulder.
Due to the altitude, no doubt.
- The count will see you now. - Thank you. Please excuse me, ladies.
May all your allergies be swiftly cured.
What a nice man.
Of course, I know what he's allergic to.
Bezants.
Antisepsis.
Please wait here.
Good evening, Sir Hilary.
Balthazar, Count de Bleuchamp.
If you'll forgive me, that's what I'm here to find out.
To confirm, Sir Hilary. There can be no doubt of the truth. Please, sit down.
If there were no doubt, the college would not have sent me.
Well, since you are here, I'll make everything very plain to you.
To begin with, I was born without ear lobes.
A well-known congenital distinction of Bleuchamp ancestry.
Like the Hapsburg lip, or the hawknose of the Medicis.
Granted, but the fact that you're of de Bleuchamp ancestry
- doesn't make you the reigning count. - I feel it in my blood and in my bones.
The College of Arms requires more concrete proofs.
And it shall have them.
I have all the relevant documents: title deeds, certificates of birth and death.
They'll be sent to you for authentication.
And you have only to ask Fräulein Bunt for anything.
- Are you quite comfortable here? - Yes, but puzzled by your clinic.
The methods of the great pioneers have often puzzled conventional minds.
I have devised a cure for allergies which depends on holding
an unusual and rather delicate psychological balance.
So, you see, I must impose special conditions on my patients.
And your laboratories?
The cure is not entirely psychological, Sir Hilary.
There are special vaccines.
Vaccines which must be modified to suit each individual case.
So I'm a very busy man.
I might not be able to spare you as much time as I might wish.
If you wish to be confirmed as the count, you must give me some of your time.
I need details of living relatives, parents and grandparents.
- The documents... - Can answer many questions, but not all.
One more thing. It would be very helpful if you could accompany me to Augsburg.
- Augsburg? - The de Bleuchamp's ancestral home.
There are notable tombs in the cathedral and important records in the city archives.
If you yourself were there to assist...
That may not be convenient now, but I'm determined my title shall be recognized.
- Proceed with your preliminary research. - I shall be happy to start straightaway.
Thank you, Herr Grunther.
I've brought you the book.
- The illustrated book? - No, don't turn it on.
- I want to see the pictures. - You're a picture yourself.
And twice as lovely in the firelight.
You are funny at pretending not to like girls.
Well, I don't usually, but you're not usual.
That lipstick was an inspiration. So are you.
Sir Hilary.
Call me Hilly.
- What's your name? - Ruby Bartlett, from Lancashire.
- Morecambe Bay, actually. - How did you get here?
Do we have to talk about that now?
It's true.
How did you get here?
I had this awful allergy about chickens.
My family's got a chicken farm and every time I did something on it, I nearly died.
The specialist said there was a wonderful Swiss clinic where they cured you free.
Go on. No, about the clinic, I mean.
Well, the specialist had me meet Fräulein Bunt in London,
and she said I had a very interesting case.
- How right she was. - Hilly.
Bother.
No, Hilly.
It's part of the cure.
Cassette number seven.
Number eight.
Do you remember when you first came here, how you hated chickens?
How you were sick when you even saw one?
But all that is over now, for I have shown you how foolish it was.
And your cure is nearly done.
I have taught you to love chickens.
To love their flesh, their voice.
Yes, your cure is nearly done.
- And soon you will go home... - Ruby.
...to look after the chickens, which you love so much.
You do love me just a little, don't you, Hilly?
Ruby.
I must teach you how to give them special care.
- I will tell you what to do. - Ruby.
- I will tell you when. - Wake up.
I will tell you how.
And after you've done what I teach you, you will forget it forever.
Forever.
Hilly, you old devil.
It is me, yes?
Quite undeniably, yes.
How did you get out?
With a fingernail file. It's so easy.
I wouldn't know.
I come to see the book. The pictures, yes?
Jolly good idea. Now, where did I put it?
I had it a few moments ago.
- Perhaps if we turn on the light. - No.
You're a picture yourself.
And twice as lovely in the firelight.
- But, Sir Hilary... - Hilly.
But I think you do not like girls, Hilly.
Usually I don't, but you're not usual.
Coming here like this was an inspiration, and so are you.
- You'll need to be. - What you say?
It's a miracle our meeting like this. I don't even know your name.
I tell you all about myself, later.
In the morning.